So, a hooker walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve dead hookers"
The hooker say's " But I'm not dead"
The bartender shoots her in the face.
The oldest of the tricksters the Gremlin has been around since the dawn of invention. They rose to prominence during World War II when they reeked havoc on the machines of the allies and axis forces alike. Claiming victory at the end of the war the Gremlins simply stated. “Muppets, you're all a bunch of Muppets,” they then vanished into the ether waiting for the next big jump in technology.
Cunning and elusive the Gremlin lives in the space between, “I'll do it later,” … and ... “Dammit!!!” where they wait and watch for a chance to throw a spanner into the works, a ghost into the machine.
Likes : The internet, all them wires to play with, Trolls, their brothers in arms, and the east London zombies.
Dislikes : Rocks, well they don't do much, they just sit around acting like rocks. Not much there for any self respecting Gremlin to break.
Level five warning : By far the most fearsome adversary that anyone is likely to encounter, the Gremlin will always be one step ahead.
“You make it, we break it,” is their motto, so never tempt fate as they did with the unsinkable Titanic, you just never know who might be listening.
The new year is a time for resolutions, and this 2015 I made the decision to cut back my work hours down at the river Styx because the wife wants me to spend more time with the family. My boss is not okay with this, and he told me that instead of cutting my hours he's gonna make sure more people need transportation just because I asked for the time off! Since I been workin' there since basically the dawn of time, was I in the wrong to be asking for this in my retirement years?
Whoa whoa whoa, doesn't your boss understand the power of a union? Go to your hall and have them have a talk with him! If you're approaching retirement (which you said you were and with obvious reasons! The dawn of time!) That means that the toll working has on your body increases, and unless your boss wants to lose the man who ferries his souls and be left with nobody, to bring the departed across, he will likely do a double take at your request.
This news letter is for fun. The articles are fictional and we print things that are adult in nature. You have been warned.
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Our group of twisted writers...